I am an ordinary student who came to study in the capital from a small provincial town. There are hundreds of people like me. We are determined to conquer the big city, to achieve success in life and the respect of family and friends. But not always behind all these desires are concrete actions.
I am a contract student at a national university, in a prestigious department. My parents worked very hard and continue to work very hard to make me “human. But in addition to the official fee for my contractual education, they have to give me money “for the session”. And for this I am very ashamed.
I am a contract student at a national university, in a prestigious department. My parents worked very hard and continue to work very hard to make me “human. But in addition to the official fee for my contractual education, they have to give me money “for the session”. And for this I am very ashamed.
At first I really could not pass the exams on my own: the gap in the level of training between me, who had graduated from a provincial school, and my classmates, who were taught in high schools and gymnasiums, was enormous, and the requirements of teachers seemed to me unrealistic. I had to pay to pass the exams and not to get into the army… No, half of the course was excellent and studied “honestly”, none of the teachers demanded money and did not roll in the exams on purpose. But it is much easier to be lazy and buy a session than to go to all the lectures, cram the notes before the exam and understand the intricacies of the methods of solving problems.
I realize that now I can already pass the sessions on my own, for free and from the first time. And at the beginning of each semester I promise myself that now I will study diligently and will not take the last money from my parents. But a week, a month passes, and I always find “urgent matters” to start studying “tomorrow” and “tomorrow”. This situation is very unpleasant to me, deep inside I constantly feel anxiety, shame, and disappointment with myself. But I can’t help myself. I am lazy and selfish, but I cannot pull myself together and live differently.
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Show comments Hide commentsIt’s expensive to study these days, especially if it’s free ????
Collecting bottles under a stall is always easier than building a career and taking care of someone. Sitting on your parents’ necks must be disgusting to a man… Although I’m not a man and I may be wrong.