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I am 25 years old, married for 9 months. My parents bought us an apartment, but my husband is in no hurry to make repairs. He needs to be constantly “stimulated”. On March 8, I laid my own parquet in the apartment, because my husband wanted to drink beer with friends and he “already made a deal”.

I’m the only one who drives – he never got his license. When the service department overflowed the oil and stained the car, I had to clean up the grease stains by myself. He doesn’t want to help with anything at all – with a living husband, it’s like I’m alone. Sometimes he does things around the house, but that’s when and if he feels like it. So we live in one room, and the other room and the kitchen are just concrete walls.

My husband and I work for the same company and at work we are two months behind on our pay. There is no money at all, but the “breadwinner” does not even move, does not want to look for part-time work or other options to improve our deplorable financial situation. I could find a job, but then I think he would relax and leave the few remaining responsibilities to me. After all, it’s easier that way.

My husband and I work for the same company and at work we are two months behind on our pay. There is no money at all, but the “breadwinner” does not even move, does not want to look for part-time work or other options to improve our deplorable financial situation. I could find a job, but then I think he would relax and leave the few remaining responsibilities to me. After all, it’s easier that way.

I am beginning to realize that this man is not a “stone wall,” you can’t rely on him. While my girlfriends’ husbands and lovers give them expensive gifts, clothes, subscriptions to local beauty salons, and take care of them, I have to rely only on myself. I probably need a more reliable person, because I am not ready to constantly “stimulate” him and push him to do something.

But I still have my doubts. Will I regret leaving my husband, will I remarry, and will my new marriage be better than the current one? After all, my current husband, though not a good one, but his own, native and familiar.

I have no alternative options or candidates for the role of a new husband or even lover. If I decide to leave, it will not be to another man, but to this man, his passivity, laziness, and lack of initiative. It will not be worse financially, but I am afraid of being alone.

So is it better to have a bird in the hand or take a risk and look for the right crane?

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Comments to: What to do with a passive husband?
  • 07/19/2021

    The rose-colored glasses of love have begun to crack. It’s normal, it’s worth having a serious talk with your husband. Maybe he doesn’t fully understand the situation and has his own opinion about who your family is based on.

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