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I always wanted to have the kind of guy who would hold me close to him, who would know everything about me, who would take care of me all the time. In general, I wanted me and my boyfriend to have a complete union of souls. Like twins. Or let there be a guy who would keep my “inadequate artistic” nature in check. At the same time, he would have to be stern, tender, and a little jealous.

And I found one. Someone who fit all the parameters of the “ideal guy” for me. Let his name be Anton. Everything was great at first. I was amused by his jealousy, his impulses to punch anyone who looked at me wrong. I liked his sense of possessiveness, like, “Only mine! He took offense if I went anywhere without him, and that pleased me. Finally, I feel like the man needs me. Plus, he really “smoothed out” my exuberant nature. And how gentle and caring he was: bringing breakfast in bed, all the time asking “Aren’t you cold?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Aren’t you hungry? Can I make you something?” Or, for example, I left some thing in the other room, then he wouldn’t even let me get up from the couch. He goes and fetches it himself. My friends watched and envied me.

And I found one. Someone who fit all the parameters of the “ideal guy” for me. Let his name be Anton. Everything was great at first. I was amused by his jealousy, his impulses to punch anyone who looked at me wrong. I liked his sense of possessiveness, like, “Only mine! He took offense if I went anywhere without him, and that pleased me. Finally, I feel like the man needs me. Plus, he really “smoothed out” my exuberant nature. And how gentle and caring he was: bringing breakfast in bed, all the time asking “Aren’t you cold?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Aren’t you hungry? Can I make you something?” Or, for example, I left some thing in the other room, then he wouldn’t even let me get up from the couch. He goes and fetches it himself. My friends watched and envied me.

And then the nightmares began. He became more jealous, more picky. Every day he turned into a monster (or just paranoid):

He categorically forbade me to even talk to other men. I couldn’t even see my cousin-Anton immediately started calling me every five minutes, and afterwards he claimed that I had cheated on him with my cousin (“that was more than normal in the Middle Ages!”).
Discotheques, bars, coffee houses, and other such places are strictly taboo. You can’t go with your girlfriends or alone, of course: you’ll get some guy, or they’ll beat you up. And you can’t go with him either, because he doesn’t like such places… Not even so – with friends he would gladly go. To my indignation, “What the hell?” he says: “You’re my girlfriend and I do not allow it!” or “What disco? You need to grow up!”
Oh, he’s so picky about his clothes. A skirt no higher than the knees, a blouse without cleavage. He’s picky about any tight dress. He says it’s the kind of dress girls wear when they want to pick up someone. And why would I want to do that when I have him? My words – “I dress nice for you” – do not get through to him.
He does not forbid me to see my friends, but he often lectures me about how my friends are sluts and fools and that they take advantage of me, and I am so naive and believe them for some reason. When I tried to introduce him to them, he managed to sass everyone. And he did it in such a way that it did not look like an insult. But it hit a nerve, as the girls told me.

In general, my circle of communication narrowed to three people: him, his mother and my mother. Sometimes we go out with his friends, and only with those who have girlfriends. And he looks at me askance, saying that I shouldn’t be too friendly with any of them.

Recently his friend took us out for a walk. At the friend’s request, we went to a club. We all got a little tipsy, and his friend took us out dancing. Anton yelled at him, “I don’t dance, leave me alone. Then the friend asked permission to drag me to the dance. Anton muttered that it was all right. But after the dance was such a tantrum … I, according to him, with a friend made out, kissed, almost fucked. He kept yelling that he was going to kill his friend, and with me he would separate. I freaked out and went back to my house. He caught up with me, grabbed me by the blouse, and dragged me back to his place. (“You’re such a fool, you dared to walk alone at night”).

In confidence, his friends told me that he had this “jealous” glitch because the girl he was madly in love with once cheated on him left and right. After sleeping with his best friend, she spit it in his face.

But despite the hellish jealousy, he remained caring. He still brings breakfast in bed, takes care of my health, adjusts my blanket at night, even brushes my hair in the morning! I feel like I’m something very fragile and that’s why he hangs around me.

And I just don’t know what to do about it anymore. And the signing is about to happen…

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Comments to: The Boy Jealous
  • 07/19/2021

    Jealousy is the lot of insecure losers. You shouldn’t marry them, in my opinion.

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