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I read several confessions on this site and decided to write my own. Now I have a situation that I don’t want to talk about with my friends, but I need to ask for advice.

I am divorced from my husband, I have almost no contact with him. If we have to communicate, there is always a scandal with insults and mutual accusations.

We have a child together (a boy, 8 years old), but the ex does nothing for him. But he is not going to give up paternity either. The child has never seen him and does not know anything about him, because about 3 years ago the father wanted to apply to the examination to establish paternity. And I decided on principle not to allow my husband to communicate with his child, since he allowed himself to doubt paternity.

We have a child together (a boy, 8 years old), but the ex does nothing for him. But he is not going to give up paternity either. The child has never seen him and does not know anything about him, because about 3 years ago the father wanted to apply to the examination to establish paternity. And I decided on principle not to allow my husband to communicate with his child, since he allowed himself to doubt paternity.

My husband is in no hurry to pay alimony, sometimes he doesn’t pay for six months until you remind him, which, of course, is accompanied by scandals, new accusations and recriminations. He says that he has 25% of the “white” salary, as required by law, and he came in a new foreign car. He took a receipt that he brought this paltry alimony, he was not ashamed. He wanted to take the child away for the weekend, and I said, “At least meet him, he’s small, he doesn’t know you, he’s seeing you for the first time. Don’t say that you are his father right away, get to know him better, talk to him, and then you can tell him. Otherwise you will tell him everything and disappear again for a year, and then what will I tell him? So he was really pissed off, he has a different view of the situation. According to him, I haven’t found a boyfriend yet who would be suitable for the role of a father. All in all, it’s unpleasant.

And now there is such a situation: he gets an apartment (he is a military man), he needs an extract from the house book, that the child is registered at my place. And I say: let’s give him up, you won’t need any certificates, and we will never interfere in your life. At first he agreed, then he changed his mind, saying, “I’m not going to give him up, and I’ll help him morally and financially if I have to. And if, he said, you sue me, I will find the money and time, but I will win the case.

So in this difficult situation I can’t decide whether to let him see his son or not. He doesn’t even want to talk to the child in front of me, but tries to take him to his house. I’m afraid to leave them alone: he’ll say all sorts of nasty things to the child, placate him with toys, and go away again for six months or a year, and what should I do? Daddy’s paternal feelings are getting worse, and my son could be psychologically traumatized.

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