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Men, young people. I want to share my bitter experience. Maybe it will help someone to change something in their life.

I was married. Before we got married, my Tatiana and I dated for five years. We didn’t want to have children before we got married. We decided that everything would be in a legal marriage. So there was a wedding ceremony. And six months later my Tatyusha got pregnant. There was no limit to our joy. But my wife didn’t feel well. Pregnancy was difficult and painful. And I, silly, didn’t pay much attention to it. At the end of the second month it became quite bad. I had to call an ambulance. And… not to tell you too much, we lost the baby. My wife was very upset, and again I decided that everything was still ahead and there was nothing to grieve about.

Doctors examined Tatiana and found that she had a woman’s problem. And they warned that she would only be able to bear a child if she stayed in the hospital for a long time, otherwise, if her breakdowns continue, an inevitable and complicated operation awaits her.

Doctors examined Tatiana and found that she had a woman’s problem. And they warned that she would only be able to bear a child if she stayed in the hospital for a long time, otherwise, if her breakdowns continue, an inevitable and complicated operation awaits her.

My wife cried, asking me to support her, to help her become a mother. But I kept thinking that my involvement here was only a one-time thing, and that she should handle the rest on her own – other women were doing just fine.

It’s been two years. During that time we have had two more breakdowns. My wife was told that there was almost no chance and was referred for surgery. Tanya just got depressed. I, not understanding the situation, treated her rudely, complained that she was an incomplete woman.

It ended badly. She had an operation and could no longer have children. I thought that I, as a man, still had everything ahead of me and started looking for a woman to have a child on the side. Again, I won’t go over everyone’s head, but I’ll just say that in the end my Tanya filed for divorce.

I live alone now. I have no children either. After 10 years, I realized that I just lost my happiness and the opportunity to be a father. I know that Tatiana was the only one who was waiting for moral support, at least some physical help, and banal human understanding from me. I didn’t give her any of that. I still love her, and I don’t want to have children with anyone else. Please read my confession and make the right conclusions for yourself.

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Comments to: How I failed to become a father
  • 07/26/2021

    The saddest thing is that such a case is not an isolated one, and not even the hundredth.

    I too have this nonsense that my young man exists apart from me and there is zero support from him. But anyway, it must be very hard to tell such a thing.

    Thank you for such a truthful confession. And may your story indeed become a lesson.

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