His annoying friends

I and my already “civil” husband have been together for 8 months, of which we have been living together for almost six months. Everything is going well with us, we don’t quarrel, we live in harmony with each other. Everything is stable and calm. We wake up every morning with smiles on our faces, kisses, and together, sleepy and laughing we go to drink tea and get ready for work. We work together, and for those who say, “Oh, the horror,” I say there is nothing to be afraid of. We don’t bore each other at all, and if the weekends don’t coincide, we miss each other very much and look forward to the end of the work day. We spend weekends together, and evenings too. We practically never go out separately, as we can’t go out without each other. Basically we have no company as such, the company of “me” and “him” suits us perfectly.

But the crux of the problem is his friends. Or rather, former classmates with whom he communicates once or twice a week, and then only over the phone. Among them is “one” person, Sasha, who really is a friend. The thing is that Sasha is married, and let’s just say that their family life is not exactly serious. The wife doesn’t work, he works, but with a freelance schedule, and their raison d’être is spending time with someone all the time, and drinking. I don’t mean that they are exactly “drinking”, no, they are just used to any alcoholic beverage accompanying meetings and conversations. It’s been that way since college, so to speak.

But the crux of the problem is his friends. Or rather, former classmates with whom he communicates once or twice a week, and then only over the phone. Among them is “one” person, Sasha, who really is a friend. The thing is that Sasha is married, and let’s just say that their family life is not exactly serious. The wife doesn’t work, he works, but with a freelance schedule, and their raison d’être is spending time with someone all the time, and drinking. I don’t mean that they are exactly “drinking”, no, they are just used to any alcoholic beverage accompanying meetings and conversations. It’s been that way since college, so to speak.

In general, when the day begins quietly and quietly and nothing foretells trouble, all of a sudden Sasha will call and say: we’re coming to visit you, or vice versa, come to us. At first I was glad that his friends saw me as his man and invited me to visit, but every time I realized that my husband drinks there, and always, at least a beer, 2 liters at least. Why? I don’t understand.

I know he used to drink with them every day, since he was alone and he wasn’t interested in going after work. I slowly began to pull him out of that “hole” – and it worked. But now I live in constant fear that a friend will call and invite him over. Thank God my husband doesn’t touch me when he is drunk, he doesn’t scandalize me, on the contrary he is quiet and calm, but we want children, and for some reason we don’t succeed… The reason, maybe, lies in this.

When he started noticing that I wasn’t happy with these “meetings,” he started arguing with me and reproaching me for being selfish and not allowing him to spend time with his friends. You see, it pisses me off that they can call at lunchtime, and we have to drop everything, domestic or otherwise, and run to them, for how can we hurt a friend?

And also once a month, a friend from out of town comes over, and just like that, without warning, puts the fact – I’m waiting in the evening! And we, you see, have no dinner, were going to clean the house, rest from a hard work week, and I’m on training the next morning at 7 am. All to hell with it – a friend arrived!

As of late, I stopped going with him. Don’t think I’m ignoring it, it just comes out all the time that I have a lot to do. And that’s the way it’s been going. Dima got used to going to friends’ houses alone, dropping everything. Another factor that affects my attitude toward his friends is that if they offer to meet, and we, so to speak, are already getting ready for the evening and changing all the plans, they can calmly blow off by the end of the day. And that happens every once in a while. My husband is not embarrassed by this.

The last straw was their last meeting, when the out-of-town friend arrived again, the beloved went to see them. I was in Kiev on business, and he was supposed to meet me from the shuttle bus late at night. I asked him not to drink, because I was going to be tested. I thought he would listen, wouldn’t my friends understand? In the end, I arrived and waited for him for half an hour outside, in a terrible snowfall, and he came in drunk.

God, I’m so sick of all this! People are all over 25 years old, and they’re just like teenagers in the yard. I want a serious, family life, with some plans and responsibilities, but it turns out that we, like teenagers, earn money to hang out with his friends at home or somewhere in the pub. Why can’t we go bowling, play pool, go to the ice rink? Or just go to a pizza place? In 25 years of life, haven’t you had time to have a good time?

And then yesterday his friend called again, and the native already said in very different words, not implying on my presence in their circle “Tomorrow comes Sanya, I’m going to them. And from the looks of things, I will be alone.

Sophie Hayes Member since 12/02/2020

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