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This is not a confession, but rather a cry from the soul. I want to buy my nephew a cell phone as a present. I know the parameters very well. I understand what will suit a teenager. In a word – I know what I want.

I walk into a specialty store. A manager and a salesman, whose turn it is to “torture” the customer, run up from both sides, asking, “Can I help you?”

– No, I will choose for myself.

– Still, what do you want? – The salesman keeps up.

– You have all the data on the phones clearly listed, I can choose for myself,” I try to blow him off, a little praise – it does not work.

– You have all the data on the phones clearly listed, I can choose for myself,” I try to blow him off, a little praise – it does not work.

– Who do you need the phone for,” he draws me into the conversation.

Already I want to send him to a desert island somewhere. But I still hope for a miracle.

– For a relative of 15 years. Can I choose and then ask you if I need to?

The salesman skillfully turns me in the direction of the most expensive machines.

– Here, it’s a great model. It has everything you need (begins to list the features).

– I need to keep it simple. With these parameters.

– No, I don’t think such a machine would suit a boy, but there is also such a model. (Without my consent, he takes an even more expensive one out of the display case.)

– I know my child and what he needs. Besides, this one is too expensive.

Ignoring the first part of my sentence, the salesman chirps:

– Well, you can take it in installments for 24 months! Do you want it now? Do you have your passport with you?

I still have patience with me and, freeing myself from such tutelage, I politely say:

– I’m sorry, I’ll look again at another store.

I hear the manager’s line in the background:

– She herself understands the parameters! And who are we?

I don’t know how to say “who” right? I just don’t want to buy with this kind of obsessive service. If something is unclear, I am perfectly capable of asking, and if I understand it myself – let me choose the product without your help. And, standing in front of the showcase at least half an hour, and not at the risk of a 20-second imposition of their opinion.

In another store, even at the entrance, I stunned the girl who jumped up with the phrase:

– If you want me to buy a phone from you, get away from me.

The girl may have been offended, but stepped back. And I bought the phone.

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