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I’m Sasha, I’m in the army now. Very soon, on October 24, my service ends. But there’s a problem I want to tell you about: I still don’t have a steady girlfriend. This makes me feel simply inferior. Here in the army, that’s the main thing. Everyone corresponds with someone in contact or calls on the phone. I don’t.

No, it’s not that I’ve never had a girlfriend. There were girls. And we called or corresponded, too. Only it all lasted very little, one or two weeks and that was it. We met, exchanged phone numbers, called each other, told each other everything about ourselves, and then I call and she says, for example, that she is busy, works, goes somewhere, or, finally, that her mother called her now. I call another day, they exchange a few sentences with me, like what a difficult homework was today, and that’s it. Usually more girls just don’t pick up the phone. Sometimes I manage to ask her why she doesn’t want to talk to me, and then she doesn’t pick up the phone.

No, it’s not that I’ve never had a girlfriend. There were girls. And we called or corresponded, too. Only it all lasted very little, one or two weeks and that was it. We met, exchanged phone numbers, called each other, told each other everything about ourselves, and then I call and she says, for example, that she is busy, works, goes somewhere, or, finally, that her mother called her now. I call another day, they exchange a few sentences with me, like what a difficult homework was today, and that’s it. Usually more girls just don’t pick up the phone. Sometimes I manage to ask her why she doesn’t want to talk to me, and then she doesn’t pick up the phone.

Before the army, there were girls I even dated a few times, but that was also two or three times. And everything seemed to be fine. We go out, we kiss, and on the third or fourth time, she just doesn’t come or tells me not to come anymore.

Maybe I want too much. I want a girl to tell me everything that happened to her and to tell me that she likes or doesn’t like me. Usually it’s almost impossible to get an answer to this question at all. I’m such a fool that I get attached very quickly, even in two or three conversations. And then it’s very painful when that’s how it ends. In September I was already on leave, I arranged to meet Natasha in the park, but she didn’t show up and never picked up the phone again.

Those who know about it say that I’ll just gradually learn not to get attached, and I’ll make fun of girls and dump them myself. And I’m still in a lot of pain. I always immediately start thinking about how we will walk, walk, kiss, talk, go to the movies, go to friends. And most of the time it doesn’t even get to “meet and walk.

I wish one girl would tell me why this happens. Maybe we should talk differently, give something different (and my mother taught me that flowers are always nice).

I’m going home soon, I’m going to meet my classmates, some more friends in the neighborhood. They all have girlfriends, and some of them even got married. I’m going to look really stupid among them. Honestly, I don’t want to, and I’m even afraid of it.

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