My name is Agniya and I am 30 years old. I want to tell a story in which perhaps some readers will recognize their problem.
I was born into a middle-class family. We lived in a small town. My father worked as an engineer and my mother taught economics. But I, a naive provincial girl, dreamed all my early life of a big city, where life was bustling day and night.
When I was 17, I graduated from high school with a gold medal, packed my bags and left to conquer the capital. My parents didn’t try to hold me back, seeing my potential.
I got into the university at the first attempt (I chose the department of economics). I studied day and night, slept for several hours, passed my exams by myself. And at the age of 22 I graduated with honors.
I got into the university at the first attempt (I chose the department of economics). I studied day and night, slept for several hours, passed my exams by myself. And at the age of 22 I graduated with honors.
It’s hard to describe how lucky I was then. I, a simple girl with no money and no residence permit, was offered a job at a company that cooperated with the university.
Thus began real city life. I was making good money, after a while I was able to buy an apartment and a car. In addition, during vacations, I went abroad (most often to America and Western Europe).
So eight years of my life passed imperceptibly. By the time I was 30, I was already an established woman with a stable income and good looks. But all this time I was haunted by one problem: my personal life. Yes, it was difficult. In my hometown I did not think about it, devoting all my time to my studies. In the capital I spent all my time on work. Yes, there were a few romances, but they ended in failure.
One day, after a hard day’s work, I wanted to have some fun. I rarely allow myself to go to clubs, but then my nerves just gave out. By then it had been over a year since the last breakup.
So, I went to the club. The noise, the shouting, the talking, the music-it took my mind off things. I submitted to the rhythm of the people around me and forgot about everything. Suddenly my eyes stopped on a man of about 35-40 years old. He was tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed (in short, my ideal man). But the main thing was that he was staring at me, apparently not the least bit embarrassed by the fact that I had noticed him.
We looked at each other for a few minutes, and then he left. I turned toward the bar in frustration. But suddenly, there was… Yes, there he was.
– Good evening,” he said, staring at me defiantly from head to toe.
– Not kind at all,” I answered irritably, but the stranger wasn’t about to give up.
– Andrei,” he introduced himself and was silent waiting for an answer.
– Agniya,” I said briefly. For a moment, I felt like he was pulling me toward him.
I don’t know what happened at the club, but an hour later we were at his house. Maybe someone will judge me, but I missed male attention at the time. That night was the best night of my life. I felt a strong attraction to a complete stranger. We didn’t fall asleep until dawn.
I woke up an hour later, quickly gathered my things, and after looking at the sleeping handsome man, I left. Why? I don’t know. But now, in the morning, it seemed so stupid.
I also continued to work for the company. No more than six months have passed since I met Andrei.
One day, I was summoned to his office by my boss. I was not sure what he wanted from me (the reports were long passed, the accounts were closed, the finances were counted), and I waddled into his office. The chief was in a positive mood. He explained that the company was gradually expanding and needed to increase the number of employees.
– Now the financial analyst Andrei Zh. will be working with you,” said the chief.
At that moment someone entered the office. I turned around to see who had entered, and froze in place. Standing in front of me was… It was Andrei from the club. I was stunned to the core, but he was even more surprised. Trying not to show it, I said:
– Pleased to meet you, my name is Agniya Viktorovna.
– Andrei Eduardovich, mutually,” he replied.
– Great,” said the chief. – You can go now. Agniya, show your colleague to his workplace.
I nodded and walked out, Andrew followed me out.
What I was afraid of happened. We were alone in the office, and he immediately came at me with questions. Why did I leave, why didn’t I leave my phone? But I was surprisingly resilient. I coldly threw something like, “It doesn’t mean anything. We’re just colleagues,” I showed him and told him all about the job, and left the office. Just like six months ago.
It’s been a few months. We are still working together.
You know what the worst part of this story is? I think I love him, but I’m very afraid of another failed romance. Because it’s so similar to all the previous ones…
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Show comments Hide commentsWhat is the essence of your fear of a possible failed relationship? Life in general is scary, at any moment a brick could fall on your head or your neighbor could turn out to be a maniac. I’m sure that by the age of 30 you know enough contraceptive methods not to be alone with a child (in the worst case, if the man is a rare jerk), and a broken heart always heals itself. I don’t think you can keep it safe by running from men, so why waste your energy and precious years of your life on it?